Buzz

This post is born purely out of procrastination,
a sign that I’ve succumbed to the temptation
to abandon my essay writing activities
and instead indulge my less productive proclivities
such as writing inane, convoluted blog posts in rhyme.
I had a better post planned but at this time I’m
personally inclined to write about a topic that’s been on my mind
even though it’s probably less interesting than what you’d otherwise find
if I’d stuck to my original intention but as I previously mentioned
I’m writing a long pointless essay on ethics and I’d like to make a contention
that contrary to what my lecturer would like me to believe,
the thing that I think, what’s currently bothering me
is that try as I might I can’t help but perceive
that’s it’s less about ethics than trendy vocabulary.

Now, I have no problem with writing, as you can see,
I could write and write until my hands bleed if need be
but I suspect that those with a point and an ethical mind
will ultimately end up been left far behind
if they fail to tap the sociology marker’s real goldmine
of high BWPL (that’s buzzwords per line).
Fortunately, it’s no issue, with my word making up ability,
ie, this gem: ethnodiscomambubinility
(you could almost believe it’s a real word, right?
No? Well, cut me some slack, I have been up studying all night)

But my point (if I can really be said to have one at all)
is that even though there’s certainly a call
for ethical issues and written expression to get a
more in-depth treatment so tommorow’s doctors communicate better
(preferably, but not necessarily, in rhyming stanzas)
I still have to wonder, is this really our best answer?

Guinea Pig

You’re probably expecting a post on Cavia porcellus
but I’ll admit straight up that this blog is more or less
free of Rodentia and guinea pigs as a rule
and today won’t be an exception to that ruling at all.

I was walking down the hall one Monday ago
when seeing a board full of notices I briefly slowed
to peruse for anything that might be of interest to me
and here’s a paraphrased version of the things I did see:

‘Textbooks!! Good as new condition. Biochem, anatomy – latest editions.’

‘UQ Christian mission! Follow us to avoid burning in perdition.’

‘Got shoulder pain? Listen, subjects for short assessment needed (it won’t be an imposition)’

‘Students wanted to fill wait staff positions. Good pay available with great working conditions’

I could do without offers one, two and four
but I had some shoulder pain and wanted to hear more
about the possibility of getting a free physio assessment
for nothing beyond a small time investment.

So off I went to be a subject for a study in teleconsultation
with two assesments run end to end, each about an hour’s duration.
One conducted in person by a physio and the other being
beamed live between us via two-way video stream.

The long range consultation was less effective without a doubt
despite demonstrations there were a few maneuvers I doubt I carried out
quite correctly. But no-one claims it’s a substitute for face-to-faces
and it’d be better than nothing, for people in remote places.

Anyway, the final diagnosis if anyone’s curious
was exactly what I expected – the pain was largely spurious.
Just the result of bad posture throughout the day
but it’s nice to be certain (for free) anyway.

Just this once I’ll make an exception to my rule - because I know this is what you really came to see.

Image from here

Acknowledgement of Body Donors

Where do corpses come from? There’s a question to ask yourself.
They aren’t prepackaged to be purchased off a supermarket shelf.
No, our materials for gross anatomy and physiology
are donated by those who at death reach for the apogee
attainable through one final act of generosity.
Past generations helped them and in the spirit of reciprocity
they renounce their connection to their physical remains
that we may learn to alleviate the sufferings and pains
of all those who still reside upon this mortal plane.
So if you, or anyone you love, has ever gained
from modern healthcare or carried the flame
for one of the professions reliant on anatomical knowledge
take this moment to think of the body donors and acknowledge
their final gift to us and the generations we precede
and recognise that we should all be very thankful indeed.

Would ‘You’re So Vein’ Be a Lame Title?

Now we’re learning some actual clinical skills in our classes
instead of just memorising facts in the hope that they’ll pass us.
Today, we practiced venipuncture, IM and SC injection technique,
we’ll be assessed on the respiratory exam sometime next week.

The skills we practiced today were simple enough
(although on our artificial model nothing could be too tough).
IM and sub-cut were 80% stabbing ability,
while angle and depth introduced only slight subtlety.

For venipuncture, I must admit, we did need more
fine motor skills to guide in the fixed needles
and butterfly clips with various protuberances
but in the end everyone managed to work out the appurtenances.

And look, they even let me keep a souvenir (obviously not actual blood)

Because I’m Too Tired to Write a Real Post

If you were wondering about the lapse in my blogging
it’s because for the last two weeks I’ve been slogging
away at studying for a mid-semester assessment
and only now, at the end of this huge time investment
have I had a chance to resume my normal rhyming
and in the next few days I’ll resume my roughly weekly timing
of posting poems on the minutiae of medical school
(I’d start again immediately but I’m far too tired for all
the effort of writing a proper post at this particular time
but after a good night’s sleep I’m sure I’ll be fine.)

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