And Then I Realised I’m Basically Unrobbable…

So the other day I was looking for my wallet
I couldn’t find it and thought ‘Hey, maybe someone stole it’.
A few days earlier I put it in my bag while riding the bus
and this dodgy looking fellow saw me do it and I think that he must
have picked it out when I had my back turned
to be fair it was my own fault as I really should’ve learned
to observe better security concerning my personal possessions
but let’s move on – that isn’t today’s lesson.

See at first I was upset about it, as most people would be,
then I paused to think about it carefully
and I just couldn’t see why it should be
a concern that my wallet had been taken from me.

First off, I’m a medical student so I don’t have any cash
and the little I do I always make sure to stash
in my pockets so the balance remains steady there,
likewise my cards for ATMs, driving and Medicare.
Even the wallet itself was about ten years old
riddled with holes, starting to culture mould
and in the end, when all’s said and done,
I can’t help but feel the pick-pocket’s the one
who got the real bum end of this deal
I mean, what did he actually manage to steal?

But it got me asking myself on a bigger scale
was it just luck that this robbery failed?
And I’m lead to think maybe it’s not
if I tally up all the tangible possessions I’ve got
the entire lot comes to less than a grand
and understand that most of that’s rather bland
textbooks on obscure points of medicine or pharmacology
and not even I’m nerdy enough to mourn losing texts on biology.

Thus my conclusion that for this brief moment in time
perhaps I’m inadvertently immune to this common crime.
Now all I have to worry about is assault, fraud, kidnaps,
murders, mugging, drugging and other such mishaps 🙂

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rocket
    May 30, 2011 @ 15:50:17

    Hello, I got here through your ‘like’ on my post.

    I must say that you’re blog is very unique, and this post made me laugh (thank God I wasn’t drinking anything). A comical attitude on a failed robbery is always something refreshing to hear.



  2. lovethebadguy
    Jun 01, 2011 @ 10:36:11

    Hehe, funny stuff!

    Even funnier would be if you reported in a few days time that you found your poor ol’ wallet in the back of the couch.

    Funniest of all would be if the suspected pick-pocketer stumbled across this blog and realised that you just don’t care. 😀


    • The Rhyming Med Student
      Jun 01, 2011 @ 13:40:52

      If my old wallet does turn up again I’ll just throw it away. I had a spare wallet from Christmas several years ago that I never used, so I didn’t even have to go out and buy a replacement.

      Sadly, my blog is underperforming in the petty criminal demographic. Could this be my chance to make in-roads? We shall see 😉


  3. renxkyoko
    Jun 01, 2011 @ 12:32:38

    I was at work ( ice cream shop) , then a ” customer came in. he ordered something that wasn’t on the menu, so I had to get the special flavor from the backroom. As soon as my back was turned, he took my laptop and ran off… ( In Decem,ber 2010) I brought my laptop to work coz it was December, business was slow ( who would buy ice cream in winter)…… to make the story short… I just hoped the thief gave the laptop he stole to his kid for Christmas. Ha ! I was feeling nice and generous then.

    Oh, great post, as usual.


    • The Rhyming Med Student
      Jun 01, 2011 @ 13:50:59

      I hope it was an old laptop (or covered by insurance).

      It seems like some people will steal anything that’s not bolted down. I once caught a young man (maybe late teens/early twenties) trying to sneak tampons out of a pharmacy I worked in. He went very quiet when we asked him why.

      I never knew that ice-cream shops had special, non-menu flavours hidden in their backrooms. One more intriguing thing that I’ve learnt through blogging.


  4. renxkyoko
    Jun 05, 2011 @ 11:07:37

    Uhm, it was new and it was my Mom’s. ^o^#

    The flavor used to be on the menu, but it wasn’t that [popular, so my boss junked it but the ice cream was still in the freezer room. By the way, I was alone working, at 8:30 PM, it was a dark wintry night…. I was just thankful he didn’t harm me. he could have shoved a knife in my face. * shivers*


  5. Axl
    Jun 07, 2011 @ 04:45:21

    Bravo sir, bravo.


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