Hospital Orientation

Good evening colleagues, strangers and friends
this is the Rhyming Med Student blogging again.
Today’s topic? I got to visit a hospital!
What did I do there? Well actually, nothing at all.

From next week we’ll go there to be tutored on clinical stuff
then if our examination skills are considered good enough,
they’ll tick us off as having achieved the requisite skill
to examine an actual person who’s actually ill.

But before we start going there to be taught,
the hospital administration has determined we ought
to be made aware of certain critical information
and the best way to do that’s with another orientation.

I tried to find the venue quickly, but the hospital was a maze.
I wandered through hallways and tried a dozen different ways
in a desperate attempt to get to where I wanted to be
but endless halls and cryptic signs were all I could see.

Eventually I stumbled on the auditorium (more by luck than good sense)
but I was slightly late and worried that I might thereby give offence
to some doctor/presenter who’d hold it against me for the rest of my career
(doctors are good at holding little grudges like that – at least from what I hear)

But it turned out that I needn’t have ran
I still got there before the first speaker took the stand.
On entry, I found most people were just sitting down
or chatting to each other and milling around.

Apparently, the first presentation was indefinitely delayed.
We later found out the speaker had been waylaid
to attend an aquaintance’s unexpected funeral
but no-one had informed the head of our clinical school.

After that everything went reasonably well,
a woman from infection control came to tell
us all about the importance of PPE and hand hygeine
– I have to say she was one of the more nervous speakers that I’ve seen.

Then there were libraries and where they’re located,
which have wireless internet and which are more dated,
opening hours and plans for their future alteration
and where to find most of the electronic workstations.

After that we had the fire safety co-ordinator,
he asked us some questions about fire safety then later
made us watch a compulsory 20 minute DVD
about what to do during a fire emergency.

By this time they’d managed to find a suitable substitute
for the first presenter who they’d lined up to talk with our group.
Most of what she had to say was on the theme of: ‘Don’t pester our consultants!’
which is reasonable advice, but it’s a little harsh to pre-emptively scold us.

Anyway, that’s yet another orientation been and gone.
Like most orientations I’ve seen, it did drag on
now in the interest of avoiding the same fate for this rhyme
I think I’ll finish here and wish you well ’til next time.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mahfooz
    Feb 26, 2011 @ 23:00:56

    Introductory lectures are extremely dull! I once had a 3-4hr session on how to use the hospital computer system, how to look at the patient’s medication and order investigations etc..etc.. but in the 10 weeks that I was in the hospital, I found out that much of these functions were limited because I was a student i.e. they taught us stuff they we couldn’t do.

    Reply

    • The Rhyming Med Student
      Feb 27, 2011 @ 00:09:26

      That’s seems to be fairly typical. I think the worst orientation I ever had was when I worked in a public hospital. I recieved my orientation 4 months into a 12 month contract – by which time I knew our protocols better than the instructor did. At least I got 2 days off work.

      Do you want to exchange links? My blogroll could always do with more class.

      Reply

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